If I told you that I loved unconditionally, that would be a bold-faced lie. There is not a single one of us that has that capacity. But I tried. I tried and continue to try to love others as they are. Again, my expectations and my perspective often get in the way of this type of love.
I try to love people as they are. Not everybody agrees with my beliefs and values and that is OK. I can still learn a great deal from these individuals. I can still give and receive love to these individuals. There is no need to try to fix what I perceive that they may be dealing with. The coach in me has difficulty with this at times. I have come to terms with the fact that these unique qualities make that individual who they are. And that is a beautiful thing.
I try to love freely like I have never had my heart broken. For me, this is difficult. I often guard my heart until I feel that I can trust others. Feeling vulnerable is not easy for males. We have been taught since we were young boys that “big boys don’t cry.” If big boys aren’t supposed to cry, what are we supposed to do as adult males? Often times we suppress these feelings of heartbreak until we cannot suppress it any longer and we blow up. I have always been one of those that blow up. I look like I’m taking things in stride one minute, and the next I’m exploding in anger at someone. I have worked really hard to rid this attribute from my life. Don’t get me wrong, I still have the occasional melt down, but I do try to be vulnerable more often than not, and what I am finding is that my capacity to love has increased as well as my capacity to get over things.
If you want to develop love, love deeply.
Cale D. Hawley 